Rules, rules, and rules for rules. Oh yes, did I mention rules?

     I've gone to this private Christian school for quite a while (6 years now) and this blog that I happened to stumble upon has brought something to my attention. Throughout my career as a student I've been expected to behave a certain way because I'm supposed to have prestige for attending a high-end school. Although I understand that this isn't outrageous request, it has turned out to affect who I am as a person.

     Since I've been raised by "follow the rules and you'll be good" I've come to depend on the rules as the safe road to success in both worldly and religious aspects. As I've grown and matured over the years the more I've realized that to live my life by these rules and to depend upon them isn't really going to help me develop. I have become accustomed to taking the safe route by following rules as close as I can and because of that I think/have thought that following them is the only good path to take. That people who didn't apply these rules to their very core were wrong. Point being, since I had taken this principle to heart I always figured that if I followed Christianity's rules that I would in a way "win" God's love.

     At one point I sort of gave up, I didn't and still don't feel as if I have acquired (or found) His love. That blog I mentioned talked about how this girl had a similar problem. She stuck to the rules and now she wants to go out and experience His everlasting love for herself, not through the rules. To be honest, I've kind of been inspired by this. That blog kind of flipped a switch in my brain that I hadn't known was there before. As if it shed light on something I hadn't ever thought about.

     "It's no wonder that my friend struggles with the idea that she needs to "clean her life up" in order to come to God. She loves God with all of her heart. But she's been told for years--explicitly or implicitly--that love is earned when you follow the rules. And part of her wonders whether that's true with Him as well."

     This part of that blog is what touched me the most... It relates to me almost on a parallel level, which is why I think I connected with it so much. So thank you to Matt Rose for posting that on your blog. I feel as I might have the solution to why I've been having trouble with my spiritual relationship between the Lord and myself. For whoever is reading this, what have your spiritual problems been in the past? Did you ever find a solution? Can you relate to situations such as mine? I'm interested in what you might respond.

Credit to Matt for that post on his blog.